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Contents

1. Dealing with an Unknown Person
2. Confrontations with People who are known
3. Interviews with Parents and others

1. Dealing with an Unknown Person

In the first instance staff should  decide whether they should or should not approach the person by themselves. This decision will be based upon their natural feelings of confidence or anxiety about the person. Everyone exhibits non-verbal signals that can indicate their general state of behaviour; if the person appears to be agitated, red faced, moving their feet repeatedly where they are standing there are indications that they are in a potentially aggressive mood. If they are then approached and staff notice that they maintain direct eye contact or that they are speaking in a raised voice, clenching or unclenching their fists, making abrupt short sharp movements and then stopping, and their breathing is noticeably erratic it will be necessary to calm them and diffuse their aggression.

There are many techniques that can be used to calm people. The following are some examples that are known to work?

• Maintain a 'conversational' stance - that is stand slightly sideways on to the person, not square onto them. This stance can also provide you with a stable base.
• Stand approximately 4-6 feet from them (outside of their arms' length).
• Smile and remain calm yourself - if you give them non-verbal signals that you are anxious or scared they may pick up on this and make you feel more vulnerable.
• Speak in a friendly, calm voice.
• Try to match their eye contact.

Use appropriate communication skills:

• Listen to what they have to say.
• Empathise with them if needs be.
• Ask pertinent questions to gain more information - it shows them that you have been listening.
• Paraphrase any jargon or terms that you are not familiar with.
• Summarise the conversation.

Act upon what has been said or agreed.

If, during the conversation, the person becomes increasingly agitated and aggressive it will be important to not react to that increase. If they start to raise their voice, maintain yours at a soft and gentle pitch. If they start to rant about the situation, allow them to continue whilst maintaining your distance from them. When they have finished continue your conversation in a calm measured way. If you feel at any time that they are about to lose control you can choose one of two options. Either suspend the meeting and remove yourself, or very loudly, with your hands held above your waist, palms open, fingers upwards, shout STOP. If the person continues to be aggressive shout STOP again and repeat it as often as you feel you need. If you have shouted STOP a number of times and still feel that you are not reducing the other person's aggression, remove yourself. Never touch the aggressive person, they will perceive this as an attack and will most probably fight back.

When you decide to remove yourself you must consider your surroundings and have a plan of where you will exit if you are required to do so in a hurry. Once you have removed yourself you should report the incident immediately to your manager or may need to call the Police.

If your meeting occurs outdoors or in an area where there are children present, before you decide to remove yourself you will need to consider whether those children are at risk, and, if so, how will they be protected. This will require some planning to take place prior to your meeting. This may include asking the person to accompany you to a place where there are no children present - although it would be useful to have other adults present. It may require that you approach the person with a colleague, as people are less likely to become violent when there are witnesses present. It may require that you alert a colleague to remain at a discrete distance and to shepherd children away if necessary.

2. Confrontations with People who are known

Unlike the previous scenario, where a stranger is confronted, when you confront someone who is known to you will be better able to prepare for your meeting. If the person is known for reacting in a certain way - for example if they react aggressively whenever two people are present, or if they react aggressively towards women but not men (and vice-versa) you will be able to start the meeting in the most appropriate conditions.

Operate good customer care practices -if they have an appointment ensure that they do not have to wait before being seen, and that if they do have to wait they are fully informed of why and given an accurate time for when they will be seen. It would be appropriate at this point to offer the person a drink and let them wait in a welcoming and comfortable area. It would also help if there were newspapers or magazines in the waiting area.

If the person arrives without an appointment they should be treated with courtesy and in a manner consistent with anyone else who arrives without an appointment. If the Centre has a policy of no visits without making an appointment this should be adhered to. It will be essential to ensure that the policy is understood and known to all parents.

If you are confronting a person who you know to be likely to be under the influence of alcohol or drugs, the best advice is not to confront them, unless you are skilled in dealing with the person in that condition.

Otherwise the communications model as described above should be employed whenever confronting someone who may become difficult.

3. Interviews with Parents and others

When interviewing, or meeting with any visitor they should be treated as you would wish to be treated.

If it is a meeting outside of the usual parent evening, once they have been greeted and have been signed in to the school they should be accompanied to the place where the meeting is to take place.

If the reason for the meeting is not known, but the person wants to speak to the Head of Centre, the meeting should be conducted in the Head's office. The layout of the meeting area, however, should be designed to reduce the visitor's ability to become violent or cause harm.

The room should be set up so that there are few objects to hand that could e easily used by the visitor to attack the Head; there should also be some means available to enable the Head to either be called out of the meeting or to summon assistance - this will depend upon pre meeting planning. Such means could be that the Head receives a phone call after a set time or that the Head has to ring someone to cancel an appointment.

The room layout should be such that any person assessed to be potentially violent or aggressive is seated in such a way that they would not be able to easily attack the interviewer. This may be achieved by ensuring that the interviewer is placed closest to an exit door; that there is an unobtrusive but effective barrier in between both parties- such as a low level coffee table; that the person being interviewed is seated on a comfortable chair with deep soft cushions.

Remember also that the people attending the meeting may rarely , if ever, meet with authority figures and so may feel intimidated and anxious. These feelings can manifest themselves in shows of aggression if not managed successfully. Using a relaxed seating arrangement may help to prevent an initial defensive/aggressive response.

If it is assessed that there is a high likelihood that the person being interviewed will become violent or aggressive careful consideration needs to be given as to the location of the meeting, and whether more than one person should be present - particularly if two people are being interviewed.

During the meeting appropriate means of communication as outlined above should be used. If any facts or other data that are relevant to the discussion are to be used these should e openly provided and translated into a layperson's language.

It is useful to start and end the meeting with a handshake - it can be difficult for most people to become aggressive with someone who has made them feel welcome. A handshake can also signify that the meeting has finished and will give feedback as to whether the person is happy with the outcome or not.

End