6.4.11 Life Appreciation Meetings

Purpose of Life Appreciation Meetings
Why Hold Life Appreciation Meetings?
When Should they be Held?
Who Should be Invited?
Agenda for the Meeting
Additional Factors

1. Purpose of Life Appreciation Meetings

To put the child’s past within the context of the present and the future
To help adopters/permanent foster carers understand the birth parents’ position (e.g. life experience, poverty, learning difficulties, lack of support etc.) and why their children were placed for adoption/permanent fostering
To help adopters/permanent foster carers feel the reality of the child’s experience, both damaging and positive, and develop a deeper understanding of his or her needs
To help the whole support group consider strategies for dealing with potential problems
To help adopters/permanent foster carers decide whether or not they wish to pursue the link with a particular child or children.

2. Why Hold Life Appreciation Meetings?

Although a great deal of information can be shared with prospective adopters/permanent foster carers by other means, Life Appreciation Meetings often identify different information such as:

Information which has not been recorded on files
Seasonal triggers (i.e. associated with particular times of the year)
Emotional triggers (e.g. manner and responses)
Patterns of attachment

All of the above may exert a significant influence on the child’s behaviour in placement.

3. When Should they be Held?

Given the purposes outlined above, every effort should be made to hold Life Appreciation Meeting before the child is placed – ideally shortly before the proposed placement is to be considered by the Adoption Panel or the Fostering Panel or as soon as possible thereafter.

If this is not possible, there may be still be a value in holding a Life Appreciation Meeting with the child already placed to assist in understanding particular behaviour.

4. Who Should be Invited?

The following should be invited:

Prospective adopters/permanent foster carers
The child’s social worker
The social worker for the prospective carers
The child’s previous social workers
Current and previous foster carers
The fostering social worker attached to the current foster carers

The following are also significant contributors according to the circumstances:

Family Centre workers
Teacher/nursery staff
Child and Family Therapy staff
Health Visitor/Midwife
Family Support worker
Birth family member, if appropriate
Significant others

If the subject child is older, consideration should be given to inviting him or her for all or part of the Meeting.

A Chair and minute taker should also attend.

5. Agenda for the Meeting

Begin with a history of each parent and how their own needs were met
Consider any issues arising from the child’s cultural difference, religion, race, lifestyle etc.
Look at the child’s pre and post-birth experiences
Consider what the child has received or been denied in terms of having his or her needs met
Link neglect and abuse into the life cycle of development for a healthy child
Be clear about why the child is being placed for adoption/permanent fostering
Identify different styles of parenting and attachment that the child has been exposed to
What have been the positives in pre-care experience
What are the child’s current needs and situation?

6. Additional Factors

Find a comfortable room where you will not be interrupted
Allow enough time
Consider numbers
Stress confidentiality
Encourage adopters/permanent foster carers to make their own notes at the meeting if they wish to do so
Provide food and drink
Recognise that it may well be distressing for adopters, carers and social workers
Always de-brief and end on some positives
Ensure the adopters/permanent foster carers are given full minutes of the meeting.

End